All members of the human race, irrespective of what part of the world they may be living in, always experience a change in their lifestyles consequent to the needs of the environment and times. The people of India are no exception to this rule. This is usual, simply because the stillness in thought process and culture is contrary to the law of nature as a whole.
No doubt then 'the change' is often called 'the spice of life'. However, what seems to be somewhat disconcerting is the pace of change in the behavior and perception of men of the Indian-subcontinent towards women, even once they have moved to the West.
Upon migration, there should not have been an iota of doubt about the necessity of transformation in their thought process for this kind of behavior. The implementation of such a change should have been considered an utmost necessity within the male members of the Diaspora.
Yet, the speed of transformation among the immigrants has been rather tardy, at times invisible. Since ages, the birth of baby boy in India, whether first, second or third, has been celebrated with great pomp and show and it still is. Such celebrations are rare at the time of birth of baby girl. The Indian society encourages the couple to keep on reproducing until a baby boy shows up on the scene.
This is irrespective of the number of girls already born, the time gap between the consecutive births or the health of the mother. Such a behavior in India is the outcome of the social and economic necessities. Most of the people, almost close to three fourth of the entire population, have been living in rural India.
Their poor economic status and limited earning capabilities in small villages always made it difficult for the family to have paid help. As a result, the male children have always been inducted in the household labor force at very early age to help in the family businesses as well as family farms. Consequently, over period of time, a desire to have male children, turned out to be a natural upshot of this necessity. Due to ill-conceived but perpetual tradition of dowry giving, the daughters of India have been perceived to be a liability in the minds of their parents.
They were always put at a position of inferiority and were asked to keep a low profile. Yet, they didn't make any big fuss and tolerated it all with a smiling face. In fact, bride burning, female foeticide and infanticide that we are still witnessing are all consequences of this denigrating attitude towards the female sex.
The members of the Diaspora unfortunately did not try to understand that the culture of the West will never approve such a behavior from their newly arriving immigrants and nor it should. The immigrant community did not modify its attitudes and instead kept on with its own ways in maintaining a distinction between a son and a daughter.
On top of it, several members of the Diaspora started to reinvent once again, some of the degrading customs from back home especially the dowry, but in a rather glamorous ways. In a way, the community failed in keeping up with the changed environment and culture of the West.
It is all too obvious that at the time of need, it is the daughter who ends up sacrificing all - her time, her career and her resources - for the care of their elderly parents. Having worked in a hospital throughout my entire career, I come across situations, almost on daily basis, where the needs of elderly parents are taken care of by the daughters and not the sons.
It is a daughter who visits hospital when they are sick and sits with them providing that ultimate tender and intimate comfort when they need the most. It is a daughter who would keep contact, visit and watch their parents, much more than the son, when the parents are home alone.
In fact, only parents deprived of a female child are the ones who could tell the difference for they know it better. Under such circumstances, and after knowing it all, it certainly makes sense for all of us living in the West to change our opinions and our attitudes towards our daughters and hesitate not in offering them full equality. The lopsided attitudes of our cousins back home also deserve to be corrected.
'Time' is ripe to hail our daughters and this must be done, if not for any other reason, at least for the fact, that there may not be much opportunity left for many of us entering into the so-called 'Golden Years' to right the wrongs of the past. (Jaswant Singh Sachdev is practicing medicine in Phoenix, Arizona)
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