A Tribute

Sunil Tolani

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. A leader not born was forged: Dilip Bhai was such a heroic leader, one who stands out for greatness of good deeds and positive achievements. Last of the “few, force of good.”

I first met Bhai in 1998, when I was working at a gas station in Anaheim looking for an attorney referral. Fast forward to 2011, Bhai reached out to me to Congratulate me on O.C Holiday spirit Christmas award, “Owners focus is people, not money” which he read in the newspapers and asked my permission to share with the Indian Community.

In our culture, there was a narrative that ‘Follow the doctors, follow the engineers and attorneys” but Bhai believed there should be something that says, “Follow the have-nots, the self-made people, never-give-uppers, the underdogs, follow the resolvers in the face of adversity.” Over the years, he took immense pride in sharing his accomplishments with pride. He recognized the worth of each and every person.

The last night of December 4 of Bhai’s life was spent doing things he loved and places he enjoyed, in Mumbai. Bhai was excited about his Mumbai visit, he said it was a place of “Solace” where he got his cultural fix. He was always, and I mean always, ever the most helpful person and the quality that seems to follow in his wake was of civility.

Bhai was genuinely kind, and I would wager that no matter how many people you talk to, you won’t find a person who will say one unkind word about Dilip Bhai, that is something you absolutely cannot fake in life. That means bhai was who he was and will be missed but never forgotten for a lifetime of service.

We met once a year for sure and few times twice a year and the first thing upon meeting, he would smile big and give me a hug, saying ‘it was his lucky day to see me” I used to reply, I have my days lucky every day because he is one of my biggest Well-Wisher.

I wish I was in L.A. more and not flying in and out every 8th day on average over the years or the first half of 2019 taking care of my Dad at home in Hospice care. The last time I met him was at my Dad’s funeral on July 22, the worst day and time of my life where he honoured my family by Master of ceremony and last communication, he had wished family Happy Thanksgiving and me from INDIA in an email. We both believed in two mottoes-“To whom much is given, much is required,” and “Service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy here on earth.”

Many people idolize money, recognition and power, and for some, the real God is the almighty dollar, Bhai sought to make Mata Rani and Hanuman Ji his Idols. He always encouraged people to examine questions of religion, ethics and morality through education. He had unconditional love for community and was working to UNITE, see UNITY in the city, that was his dream.

We salute Dilip Bhai and his life and keep his legacy alive. legacy of goodness and kindness with a fantastic spirit. Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and morality, Dilip Bhai exemplified this form of fame. Bhai’s life exemplified the highest ideals-integrity, courage and a commitment to do what is best for the Indian community. His contributions to the city left a lasting legacy.

The community celebrates the life, leadership and legacy of Dilip Bhai. Bhai had a vision for unity and never lost sight of or respect for the Hindu values, generously volunteering his own time, talent and mobilizing resources to help our community.

Joy and Smile is a gift -remember, it’s the foundational emotion that leads to contentment, peace, fulfilment and happiness, and my sincere hope is that whenever we remember Dilip Bhai, we smile joyfully.

Great men are always easier to identify in retrospect than in real-time. But Dilip Bhai’s greatness still was unmistakable. And for that, he deserves our deepest gratitude. God gives each and everyone touched by him strength in this time. The community has lost a unity leader, mentor and friend. The spiritual guru Ram Dass(Servant of God) has said: “If you have identified with your soul, death is just another moment.” I am forever grateful for having known him. While Bhai is no longer with us physically, he will always be present with us spiritually.