In relationship, there is an unchanging factor

Swami Dayanand Saraswati
In order to live your life, you need to relate to the world. Any relationship implies two factors: one is you, the person, who relates and the other is what or whom you relate to. Of these two, one is a changing factor – that which you are related to. The situation to which you are related keeps on changing all the time and the change can be total. Now you see fire and now you see a stream of water; two things entirely different in nature.

A person who sees a form is the same who hears a sound. The one who saw and heard is the one who is talking to someone now. The person, ‘you’ remains the same, whereas the objects keep changing. Therefore, we can say that of the two factors involved in relating, one is variable and the other, the one who confronts, is invariable.
This is true even from the standpoint of mental activities: the one who doubts is the one who decides; the one who loves is the one who hates; the one who is kind is the one who is cruel. The person is invariable and that is you.
The Invariable Factor

We need to look into the ‘you’ that is invariable. Is it totally invariable? We cannot say so because there seems to be a variable status even for the subject, the person who relates, in keeping with what or whom he or she relates. When you relate to your father either mentally or perceptually; you are a son. Again, when you relate to your son, you are no longer the previous person, the son; you are now a father.
The subject ‘I’, however, is not totally replaced. Imagine that while you are talking to your sister, your wife comes along and you start talking to her. In relation to your wife, the brother goes away completely and the husband has taken his place. You are very much there, remember, because the one who was a brother is the same who is now the husband. At the same time, the previous role does not leave a trace upon you, the subject. Therefore, you are able to assume a new role altogether without suffering a change on your part.

It reveals a great fact about life. It is an amazing capacity to undergo change when you relate to something, without intrinsically undergoing change.
The invariable factor ‘I’ undergoes a seeming change with reference to a particular situation. When I come in contact with an object that I like I become a liker. The next moment, if I dislike an object I become a disliker. In both these situations the ‘I’ is very much present. This ‘I’ is invariable and is therefore neither a liker nor a disliker. If you know this to be true, you have made your life.
Courtesy avgsatsang.org. The 88th birth anniversary of Swami Dayanand is being observed on August 15