With love in the air, and every media forum geared to get you to spend more time and money on your love using their product, it is indeed time to reflect on love. While this day seems dedicated to the type of love mainly celebrating romantic love, and definitely holds tremendous appeal for the younger generation of sweethearts, those a few years older (read your truly), having been there, done that, are turning to serious ruminations about love.
Whichever type of love you want to think of, it is endearing, brings a smile to those watching, and tugs at your heartstrings.
On a walk around the neighborhood recently, I was struck by the expression of love on a non-human companion of a young boy…his dog! Utter rapture was written on the young boy’s face as he frolicked with his dog and a Frisbee…no expensive gifts of roses or perfume, no promises for a lifetime together, yet a profound moment of love for them, giving new meaning to the phrase “puppy love”.
As the dog barked his love for his master with complete abandon, a young couple came into view, riding their bikes, and stopped for a drink of water while admiring the scenery. There was nothing remarkable about this act, however, as the girl alighted from her bike, her water bottle rolled away down the slope. The young man with her, showed great alacrity in riding down to retrieve the bottle, dusted it off on his sweaty T shirt, uncapped it and handed it to his friend.
The girl, then, removed the boy’s water bottle from his bike and uncapped it for him, before taking a sip from hers. Not a word was said, but sweet, encouraging smiles were exchanged which spoke volumes about the contented relationship the two must share.
Further down the road, an older couple was taking in the afternoon sun in their front yard, their grown daughter tending to the roses in the garden nearby. Conversation and laughter erupted from time to time, as the two generations shared stories or memories. The daughter took a break and plopped down beside her mother, who from a force of habit over the years, stroked her cheek tenderly and pushed back a lock of hair from her forehead, and asked if she needed a drink of water.
I am sure, she would have been out of her seat and half way to the kitchen, if her daughter had said, “yes”. Instead the daughter simply rested her head against her mother and shook her head, not wanting to disturb the serenity of the moment.
A young mother with her son in a stroller and daughter running ahead came into view around the corner. The son was not in a good mood as evidenced by his inconsolable cries, and the daughter would not heed her frustrated mother’s pleas to slow down and walk along side and not be in the path of an oncoming car.
Finally, to my surprise, the young mother began singing a lullaby, in a not particularly musical way, as a last attempt to sooth her son. Interestingly, the son calmed down, and went to sleep. It was not the tuneless melody, but the love in the lullaby that must have put him into restful sleep. I wondered what else the mother could have done. To sing tunelessly in public, even if it is to calm a restless child, is something few dare, except when they are hopelessly in love with their infant babies.
Smiling to myself, having shared these precious moments of infinite love with complete strangers, I returned home and surprised my boys with the tightest hugs…
There is so much love to share in the world, even without the heart signs everywhere prompting us to display that publicly. Our parents’ generation did not express overtly and physically what was in their hearts. I remember my father ironing my mother’s sarees in preparation for an outing, and she lovingly laying out his kurta pajama. Or, her attempts to make his favorite curries, as his mother would have made them. What sweet gestures they seem in retrospect while being quite ordinary then.
Siblings display their love in unexpected ways sometimes when they are grown, and sibling issues of growing up are a distant memory, yet provide the glue that cements their present relationship. Who will be by your side at your highest, and lowest moments? Most likely a sibling, who knows when to support you and when to let you be, just like they did when you were growing up together.
The concept the new generation finds archaic and alien and even scoffs at is to take the time to nurture the developing relationship, invest in a future together, whether it be with a parent, a sibling, a friend or even coworkers. They seem to be in such a hurry to profess their feelings (as distinct from love) to the object of their desire, looking only at short term gains and sacrificing the delayed gratification of a maturing relationship that ends in a union for life. A wise person once told me, whatever you earn, is what you will have to fall back upon. If you earn money, that will come in handy, but may run out. And if you earn relationships, that will last for a lifetime.
Enjoy love to the fullest, and in every way as you celebrate this Valentine’s Day. I am going to be enjoying my chocolates and flowers which, I am sure will end up entering our house on D day. What I enjoyed today was my husband’s answer to my question this morning, when asked, “Is it Valentine’s Day today”? I certainly underestimated his quick wittedness, when, after the briefest of hesitation he responded, “No, my dear, but it is Valentine’s Day everyday in my book!”
My clumsy attempt to trip him certainly backfired completely, as I began my morning in a warm, pink haze of love.
Archana Asthana
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