Experts discuss high expectations from kids

A group of participants at ICO hosted forum
KRISHNA web
A group of participants at ICO hosted forum

NAPERVILLE: Indian Community Outreach (ICO) hosted the interactive forum “Our Dreams – Through Kids” as part of their series “Conversations” at Naperville Municipal Center on May 27 that was well attended. Naperville City Council member John Krummen was a special guest.

Moderated by TV Host Vandana Jhingan it included panelists Dr. Viji Susarla, Child Psychologist Ivette Dubiel – Director of Educational Equity School District 204, Jennifer Donatelli – Director of Curriculum and Instruction School District 203 and Naish Shah – Second Generation Indian American. Questions by attendees were answered very well by panelists.

Krishna Bansal, Chairman of ICO welcomed everyone and explained the need of having this discussion. “This ‘Conversations’ is to discuss and ask questions from experts regarding challenges and expectations that parents have from kids. As parents, are we realistic or are we trying to make them super kids or expecting to live our dreams through them? Is this a new norm and is this OK? How does it impact the youth in their development and growth? We need to seriously think and discuss these important questions with experts” said Bansal.

Vandana Jhingan, while moderating explicated, “Parenting is the ultimate long-term investment. From the day child is born to the day he is educated and well established and even longer, it is a constant practice around the world to have goals of ensuring children’s health and safety, preparing children for life as productive adults and transmitting cultural values. With high-quality expectation from our child, are we expecting too much from kids? Parents may wish for kids to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams through by putting pressure on them with the expectation to succeed and excel in academics, sports, music and arts? This is what the topic of discussion is at Conversations with ICO to educate and empower the people”.

Dr. Viji said if you must choose between academic success and resilience, then choose resilience as the most important skill. Don’t be overprotective. They are smart. Grades are not that important. Those who have failed or are school dropouts are running the world and those with A+ are working for them.
Panelist Naish Shah while answering a question emphasized that as we try our marriage to work through adjustments and through give and take relationship, that’s how you have to work with your child. Do the best you can do and leave the rest.

Jennifer Donatelli & Ivette Dubiel explained the new standards announced by State for Social and Cultural needs. They emphasized that communication amongst teachers, schools and communities are very important.

Discussions revolved around identifying the fine line on motivating versus pushing children for career and extracurricular activities. A few of the important topics discussed were social and emotional aspect in school that helps kids in shaping up. Key for all problems is communications. Talk to children generally without any hidden agenda, appreciate their success and not always criticize.

There is need to have different programs for first generation immigrant kids, then treating them with general diversity programs, build the relationship as a parent-teacher-student, drawing boundaries for extreme situations, pushing vs advice on career and life and many more.

Harish Rao

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